Pageants for Fools

Single father Harold Carson is unfamiliar with all things pageant: the dresses, the shoes, the headbands. The talent. When his ten-year-old daughter, Blossom, begs to enter the George Washington Memorial Presidents’ Day Pageant, Harold follows the commandments of a pamphlet called “Pageants for Fools,” written by three unlikely guides. Braving the Bloated Corners Shopping Mall, the wrath of competitive neighbor Genevieve (and her obedient daughter, Diamond), and his hysterical, lingerie-obsessed sister, Harold will do anything to make his daughter happy. This laugh-out-loud funny, heartwarming piece reminds audiences of the strength of a father’s love and the ridiculousness of the classic American competitions we know as pageants. 

This script is longer than most that we sell. Nevertheless, it’s still written for speech, and there are many different ways it can be cut to fit the ten minute time frame! The length provides competitors greater flexibility to focus on the storylines with which they connect most.